Delayed is not Denied

Adnan Mahmud

7 min readAug 5, 2025

Sometimes it’s just life preparing you for something better than you imagined.

Dear Yara, Lila, Kaia, and Aleena,

This year’s letter is about a lesson I keep returning to, especially when things don’t go the way I hoped:

Delayed is not denied.

But before we get to that, I want to talk about something deeper: goals.

We all chase them — good grades, getting into the right school, landing a job, building something, reaching a milestone. But a lot of what we call goals are actually steps. They’re markers on the path, not the final destination. The real destination is bigger — a life filled with love, growth, purpose, and meaning.

Sometimes we mistake a missed step for failure. But here’s what I’ve learned:

Most of what we call obstacles… are actually just features of the road.

Most synonyms for “obstacle” — hurdle, barrier, detour, setback — imply movement. It doesn’t mean you’re done. It means you need to keep going. The presence of resistance doesn’t mean the journey is over. It means the journey is real.

So when something takes longer than you expected, or doesn’t happen the way you imagined, don’t lose hope. That’s not a sign to quit. It’s a sign that something important is unfolding — in you or around you.

Let me tell you a story about a time in my life when this lesson came alive.

A Story of Delay — and Discovery

After finishing my undergraduate degree in the summer of 2001, I expected to land a job quickly. But three months later 9/11 happened and the job market collapsed — especially in my field. Suddenly, interviews were hard to come by, and all my years of hard work felt like they were slipping through my fingers.

It was a painful time. I felt like I was letting my parents down; they had spent their life savings sending me to America for a better future. Every morning, I forced myself out of bed to keep applying. Every night, I told myself that maybe tomorrow something would come through.

Eventually, the local radio station where I had interned offered me a short-term training role. It wasn’t my dream job, but it paid. I committed myself fully — building out their website and, unexpectedly, learning to DJ on the side.

But my visa status meant I had to find a permanent job fast. Months later, in late Spring 2002, I found myself at another dead end. With no other options, I pivoted: maybe grad school would give me more time and open new doors. Deadlines had passed at most schools, but I scraped together applications to four.. I took both the GRE and GMAT in a matter of weeks. Miraculously, I was accepted to all four.

There was just one problem: I couldn’t afford any of them.

With a loan of $10,000 from a family friend I chose USC. It was enough to enroll, but not enough to cover even 1 semester of costs. I had 4 weeks to find an assistantship. I knocked on 25 professors’ doors asking for an assistantship. One agreed to consider it. I spent that night in the USC computer lab completing the assignment he gave me. Just before classes began, he offered me a position.

The decision to go USC ended up changing the entire trajectory of my life. I went to every job fair, made lifelong friends, and eventually landed an internship at Microsoft. In December 2004, I started there full time and finally received my work visa and then, permanent residency (a.k.a Green Card). I’ve stayed in America ever since.

Back then, it felt like I was barely hanging on. I couldn’t see the path beyond what was beneath my feet. But now, looking back, I know that the a plan was unfolding the entire time — I just didn’t know the whole of it.

That short-term radio job? It fostered my deep love of music. USC? That’s where I met some of my dearest friends. As I write this letter on a trip to Seattle, I am so grateful for all the lasting friendships I developed here including your father, Lila and Kiki. Finally, it was on a Microsoft recruiting trip to USC when I connected with your mother. Even now, decades later, the advantage of those “delays” in 2001 and 2002 continue to bear fruit in my life.

7 Truths I Learned While Waiting

Here are seven ways to think about delay; each one deeply connected to that journey.

1. Slow progress is still progress

There were weeks where all I did was apply, wait, and hope. It didn’t look like much. But every action — every application, every step — moved me forward, even if I didn’t feel it at the time.

2. Not yet is different from never

There were many moments I thought it was over. No job, no visa, no school. But each “no” simply led to a different “yes.” Timing wasn’t rejecting me, it was rerouting me.

3. The wait reveals what you needed

I thought I needed a job. What I actually needed was time to grow, shift directions, and discover new possibilities. That painful waiting season gave me clarity I wouldn’t have found otherwise.

4. Detours are part of the map

I didn’t plan on grad school. I didn’t plan on moving to California. I certainly didn’t plan to knock on 25 doors at USC. But each detour brought me closer to the life I now love.

5. What’s meant for you will reach you, even if it’s under two mountains and what is not meant for you won’t reach you, even if it is between your two lips

When it felt like I was out of options, somehow the right opportunities still made their way to me. Not quickly. Not easily. But fully. What was truly mine found me and what wasn’t simply passed me by.

6. Destiny arrives when you are ready

At 23, I thought I was ready for everything. But life knew better. I needed to struggle. I needed to adapt. By the time I got to Microsoft, I wasn’t just ready for a job, I was ready to thrive in one.

7. The waiting season is a growing season

That year of delay was one of the hardest of my life. But it built something in me — resilience, gratitude, and a deeper trust in life’s plan. Looking back, I realize that I wasn’t waiting. I was becoming.

So how do you wait well?

Waiting isn’t about standing still. It’s about learning how to live well in the in-between. Here are five practices that helped me and I hope they help you too.

1. Create a daily space that’s yours

Whether it’s journaling, prayer, walking, or meditating, carve out space each day to listen inwardly. That quiet consistency will anchor you through the uncertainty and help you notice the small changes unfolding beneath the surface.

2. Celebrate effort and reframe the story

Show up even when there’s no win yet. Keep a record of your effort. And when doubt creeps in, don’t ask, “Why hasn’t it happened yet?” Ask instead, “What is this teaching me right now?”, “What are the hidden blessings?”

3. Think about the future, but live in the present

Yes, you can dream. You should dream. But don’t let tomorrow steal today. Look around. Appreciate what is. A lot of the people and places you love most will come from the moments you almost overlooked. You must be present to be able to grab the new opportunity that pops up.

4. Root in values, not outcomes

Don’t measure yourself against people who seem further ahead. Instead, compare yourself to those with less, and build gratitude. Hold tightly to your values — kindness, integrity, curiosity — they will carry you when progress stalls.

5. Fill your empty soul with love

When life feels like it’s not working, you’ll start to feel deflated. That’s normal. Don’t let the emptiness turn into bitterness. Fill it with love, especially by giving it to others. Support a friend. Help someone else who is struggling. You don’t need to have the answers to be a light. The love you give will reflect back and fill your soul in return.

One day, the thing you’ve been waiting for will arrive.
And when it does, it will feel not just like a win, but like a homecoming.
That’s because you didn’t just wait. You grew. You became someone ready to receive what life had to offer, with humility, joy, and grace.

So when things take longer than expected, when the path isn’t clear, don’t panic. Don’t lose hope. Don’t give up.

I will wrap up this letter by sharing with you the first song that I remember really liking and listening on repeat. I was close to your age now — around 10/12 years old. Here is the song:

It is a Bengali song, but don’t worry there is an English translation when you turn on Closed Caption (cc) in the video.

This is where I first heard the phrase “Fill your empty soul with love”, over35 years ago.

The letters from the past 12 years:

Be Better, Not Bitter: How to Tame Your Ego (2024)

Lifelong Benefits of Consistency (2023)

Better to do right than be right (2022)

What if You Didn’t Need a Vacation? (2021)

Hypocrisy and Inaction — May you avoid our mistakes (2020)

The Fog-of-Life and Your Path Ahead (2019)

A Father’s Take on Meaning of Home (2018)

Gender Discrimination (2017)

An Immigrant Father’s Letter to His Kids (2016)